When your primary motivation is the avoidance of unpleasant thoughts and feelings, this drains the joy and vitality from what you are doing. For example, recall, the last time you ate something rich and tasty to get rid of feelings of stress, boredom, or anxiety. Chances are, it wasn’t all that satisfying. However, did you ever eat that very same food, not to get rid of bad feelings, but purely and simply to enjoy and appreciate the taste?
Dr. Russ Harris, author of “The Happiness Trap,” a guide to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy